i’m not gonna talk about chic flick movie… cutting in the scenes are from Dear John, the movie is described a long distant relationship. the story, and this song both bring me a bitter memory of my past long distant relationship.
i shoulda been smart enough to know about this kind of relationship when it began. once set a goal for 2 together, it is not mine anymore, it is ours. they can only keep this relationship expecting next time, to meet in person, and literally that the only thing that matters. that’s the only thing encourages them so, if one fell down or pushed it back, it is incredibly hard for another to keep going again. it just feels forever.
I was on the edge looking down my fiancee who’s waiting on me down there and trying to catch me. His first song sending me - “Every time i heard the song, i remember you ( I will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie) ” i released his hand and he jumped off. ended up I couldn’t take off. found the apartment for 2 and living there alone waiting for someone who now never know when came into his real life - that was killing him. that’s what i have done, to the guy who truly is alone in the world, without family. ( he’s a foster child & his adopted parents both died already )
"Lets give up everything, let’s jump in and never look back".
I have felt so guilty about this experience. he often said ( even after our break-up) our connection was so strong and special. I agree with this,in a sense, but now i have a little different feelings for my guilt and us since i met someone, 3 years later & 2 more relationships ended. if allows me to say that - i could not jump off with him because i was hesitate something. something was wrong. i just heard that voice from somewhere else over me.
i don’t know how my current relationship goes, but i don’t get that feelings with my guy at all. i hardly see negative feelings in my life since he came into my life - not only he’s changed my world so bright, but it’s also like his existence makes all sense of my past relationship.
there’s nothing worse than lose this man - i can’t explain why or what’s going on my mind but that’s what i’ve heard now.
if we keep it going - i will just take his hand to jump in the new world together when he needs.
and i never look back.